Being a full-time mum, you feel like you should be hands-on 247, and asking for help feels like you are taking the easy way out. I use to feel guilty when I asked my part-time to look after Joshua while I nap or have a rest. I felt bad that I wasn't spending all my time with him, and angry with myself that I am not more capable, and question myself why other mums can handle it all and I am struggling.
Truth is, every mum has their own struggles, they just might not be the same as yours. Just because someone's Instagram looks like they have a perfect life, and all under control, reality can be a different story. We all have our own struggles, just because people don't show their struggles on social media, it doesn't mean it isn't happening.
It is Ok the ask for help
Asking for help is not cheating. You are still a great mum if you need help to keep yourself sane. Being a full-time mum is a very full-on job because it never ends. With a regular job, at least you have working hours, as a full-time mum is it all hours of the day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. So it can be overwhelming at times.
Don't get me wrong, I love being a full-time mum and being hands-on. I enjoy every minute I spend with my son, but I also NEED a bit of ME TIME, every day. So that I can recharge and be a better version of myself.
I remember talking to a veteran mum of three once that my "me time is my pump time." Her immediate response was, "Hun, pump time is NOT me time. Me time should be doing what you want to do, not what you have to do." And you know what, she was right.
For the first 4 months of motherhood, my "me time" was when I pumped. I blog or watch a TV show while I pump, and even then, it would usually be distributed by a fussy baby. Looking back, I did notice that I was quite grumpy as I was exhausted, and I felt like I was losing myself to motherhood. It is only recently when I have more help that I started to feel more like myself again.
Now that Joshua is a bit older, my husband and I are more comfortable leaving him with the nanny. Motherhood becomes even more enjoyable, and I am a better mum because of it. I can go to the gym, pop out to the shop quickly to run errands, or simply being able to pump in peace and write my blog. These are all the things I use to take for granted and didn't realise something so mundane can make such a big difference. I have time to think and recharge, so when I spend time with Joshua, I am happier, more patient, and more energetic.
Be kind to yourself
I cannot stress how important it is to have some ME time, and getting that extra help was just what I needed. So if you need help, simply ask and don't feel guilty about it. Asking for help when you need it is a sign of strength, not weakness. At least you know what you need to make you feel better and be a better mum. So be kinder to yourself, and give yourself a break. You are doing a great job Mama, and if you need a bit of ME time today, please do, because you will be a better mum for it.
Sending you love & Positive thoughts,
Christine xxx
