When you look at my photos of my happy family and my two beautiful boys, you would have probably thought my road to motherhood was an easy one, but it was anything but. Some of you are familiar with my story, but for those of you who are new to my blog might not. And even to my loyal readers, this is a story I have only shared with my close friends and family, but now I am ready to share it with you as well.
This personal story of mine is very close to my heart. It took me so long to share it because it was such an otherworldly experience that I worry most people can't relate to, or even judge me for my hippy ways. But I am finally ready to share this story, because I want to give women who have difficulty conceiving hope and an alternative method to try. I have also fully embraced my hippy, crystal loving self, that I am ok if people think I am weird or slightly kooky. (Which I am, and that is ok, because that is what makes me, well...me!)
My Story
6 years ago, I had a miscarriage. It was a very devastating moment in my life, and it made me realise how much I wanted to be a mother more than anything in this world. After the miscarriage, we tried for 3 long years with no luck. We had so many things working against us, my prolactin was high, my husband didn't have great swimmers, we were also reaching our mid 30s so time was not on our side. We tried everything our friend has recommended, vitamins, fertility machines, exercise, diets, Chinese medicines, the lot! When nothing was working, we started looking into IVF, like many couples who have been trying for awhile.
Of course IVF is very expensive, so we were looking into alternative ways. That is when I decided to try Reiki, and I am so glad that I did, as it changed my life. (Reiki is a form of complementary therapy relating to energy healing)
Jan, who is one of my oldest friend, is the one who opened my mind and introduced me to the world of reiki. She is my spiritual mentor and guide, and I am so glad she is in my life to show me the light. My reiki experience with her really opened my eyes into alternative healing. I never believed in spiritual healing before my sessions with her, and now I am fully converted. I truly believe to achieve full happiness, you need to look after yourself a whole, body, mind and soul.
Every time I do a reiki session with Jan, I cry. (Like balling my eyes out crying, but in a good way.) It is such a great release of blockages and negative energy that I feel so light and re-energized. If you want to try reiki and book a session with Jan. She does sessions in person (for those of you who are in Bangkok) or long distance healing. And for those who are already into spirituality and alternative healing and are into sound bath, she offer sound bath sessions too, both in person and long distance.
From my sessions with Jan, she told me I had blockages on my heart and sacral and I need to release those blockages to help me get pregnant. That was when she asked me if I would be opened to go to Bangkok and see her teacher Mohana.
My experience with Mohana was otherworldly, holistic, and simply put - mind-blowing. I knew my sacral chakra was blocked from my last session with Jan, but what I didn't realise was that it was blocked based on a traumatic past life experience.
When I first met Mohana, I liked her instantly. She is warm, gentle, and I can feel that she has a good heart. She was very welcoming; we chatted and discussed briefly why I wanted to see her and went straight into the session.
The beginning of the session was similar to what I experienced with Jan. She moved her hands gently above my body to feel what was causing the blockages; then she started to guide me through the journey of my life.
She started to regress me back to my childhood, as she can feel that I had some suppressed feelings that I have experienced with my parents. However, even after we discussed my childhood, she still felt that the blockage goes further back then that, so she regressed me even further, that was when we went into my past life.
My Past Life
When I tell friends about my experience with Mohana, they always asked me if she guided me through the progress, so I am only seeing what she wanted me to see. The truth is, she only helped me regressed back to my past life and told me what happened to me, but what I saw during my session; my surrounding, my skin colour and people around me, it was like seeing them through my eyes now clear as day, and I was the one telling her what I saw and not the other way around.
As she regressed me back to my past life, my body started to vibrate. It was one of the strangest sensations I have ever felt. It was as if all the molecules in my body were vibrating at a higher frequency, and I had pins and needles all over my body. I was a bit scared at first as I have never felt like this before, but as the session went on, I wasn't scared anymore but intrigued and almost enjoyed this new sensation. It was as if I was watching a movie of my past life unfold in front of my eyes.
She told me she saw that I had a very traumatic past, where I was a young girl and was made pregnant against my will. The child that I was carrying was not mine to keep. Once the child was born, they will take that child away. So I never let myself bond with the child that I was carrying, I was resentful, hurt, and angry and just wanted that part of my life to be over so I can move on.
She guided me to the moment I gave birth and told me that I needed to connect with that child. I needed to feel and let go of all the hurt and anger that I felt. The minute I locked eyes with the baby, I just broke down and cried. I saw that the baby was a boy and that my skin colour was brown (I can see my hands and legs but not my face. I think I might have been Indian, Pakistani or maybe even Egyptian). I was in a poor and dusty surrounding with a woman by my head, another woman delivering my baby and a man ready to take him away. Instead of just giving the baby away right after he was born, Mohana told me to hold him, connect with him, tell him that I loved him and most of all forgive myself for having the give him away because it wasn't my choice. It was one of the most heart-wrenching feelings I had in my life. The pain and love that I felt for that child were like no other. It was like someone has reached into my heart and taken a big part away from me and something that I never truly recovered. As I was letting all these emotions out, Mohana was releasing and dispersing all these negative energies by clicking her fingers and clapping. At that moment, all I wanted to do was cry, truth be told I couldn't stop even if I wanted to, tears just kept streaming down my face, and all I wanted to do was hold on to that baby forever. Mohana than moved her hands towards my sacral chakra, above my left ovaries area and told me that she feels there is a blockage there and it is pressing down on my ovaries and womb, so she asked my permission if she can release it. I nodded, and as she moved her hands from my left ovaries towards my belly button, I felt this lump lifted up and moved towards my belly button and eventually out of my body. She released and dispersed it, and I felt a lightness around my womb area straight away and I slowly subsided and stopped crying.
Coming Back
After she helped me release this blockage, it was time to come back to this lifetime. She guided my soul back to the present, but my soul didn't want to come back. I wanted to find out more. It took awhile for my soul to come back to the present; every time she guided my soul back, I can feel my soul resisting and wanting to stay to see what happened next. She told me to open my eyes and take in my surrounding, but I couldn't. She told me to sit up, but my body felt like lead, and I couldn't move, as my soul wasn't quite back to the present. So Mohana gave me two crystals to hold on to (a tiger eye and smokey quartz) to help ground me and bring my soul back to this lifetime.
After about 30 minutes or so, I was finally back, but I was still feeling very woozy. I remember my legs felt like jelly, and all I can feel is pins and needles. I felt slightly light headed from all the crying, and according to Jan, I could barely talk.
After my session, I was exhausted. Both Mohana and Jan told me to drink more water and rest, as my energy was drained from the session.
Afterthought
I know some people might think this was a scary experience, but truthfully, it felt amazing. Just being able to experience a past life, even for a short period of time was life-changing. I would definitely want to do another session with Mohana, she offers long distance reiki healing too, so it is something on my to do list, as I really want to experience another past life.
What are your thoughts about reiki and past lives? Would you like to experience it yourself?
Sending you love and positive thoughts,
Christine xxx